28 December 2007

{ 17 } .. . asterisk

he comes across like a dusted romeo to her spinning juliet

what secrets will you share, my anglepoise darling? what crevice will you illuminate? In the dusty cockles of my antiquated heart, she tells me a thing or two about this and that. This, is getting us nowhere. This has been a mad mistake. Your eyeballs feel like pinballs, while your tongue feels like a fish. That, will have no bearing; that, cannot support the weight; the gravity of what she’s saying: the trivialities we debate.

Listen to the crap you’re spouting; the copro-corpus that you diseminate. Lost in the muddle of your id, the middle of your ud, the shitstorm of your god, the hidden gorm of your ode. Up comes the fool and down goes the stool!

Check it and see.



spiral scratch
letter from an occupant .. . { the new pornographers, mass romantic }
tears of a clown .. . { smokey robinson and the miracles }
banging in the nails .. . { the tiger lilies, the brothel to the cemetary }



02 December 2007

{ 16 } .. . babel

just get me to the airport or you’ll curse the day

The other night, on a quiet street in a cozy parlour, there was a gathering of musicos to celebrate one of their birthdays. In an informal circle surrounded by guitars, bass, snare and flute, songs and chords and harmony were freely exchanged, telling tales of sorrow and heartache, but mostly of joy, mixing decades and genres, weaving them all into one great story that embraced everyone.

It was a conversation that casually created community, not just among the people present, but with the artists and creators whose songs filled the evening. The almost random concatenations defied logic but somehow made sense, or begged for recognition of their, oh, kinship to each other: just what is the connection between ‘I Wanna Be Sedated’ and ‘Lost Highway’? What does Joey Ramone have to say to Hank Williams?

Elation and regret, jugs of wine and narcotic shows, the need to keep moving, to run away and run toward, until the past was a figment, a shadow without substance, a mere bo(o)geyman behind the harmless veil of the night. And just in case there is more bite to the dark, well, the warmth of this magic circle would keep that monster at bay.



spiral scratch
you don’t miss your water .. . { the byrds, sweetheart of the rodeo }
sneeze .. . { andrea parker, kiss my arp }
friday i’m in love .. . { the cure, wish }



17 November 2007

{ 15 } .. . samael

fowl may be foul, but fish is still fishy

Used to be, all I had to do was open my mouth, and flocks of birds would fly out, twittering and fluttering madly, bouncing into each other, before scattering off with explosive energy. Now, except for the scratchy taste of some telltale feathers, I feel like a silent bone cage, waiting for a trill.



spiral scratch
parting of the sensory .. . { modest mouse, we were dead before the ship even sank }
hallelujah time .. . { the wailers, burnin’ }
minnie the moocher .. . { cab calloway }




27 October 2007

{ 14 } .. . repression

typing self-indulgent shite to keep warm

In this cold, cruel land of leisure, where everyone is either shiftless or shifty, I am constantly being reminded of my own sullied hands madly, lazily, helplessly piling on the useless words, adding to the incredible noise that overwhelms communication: the whirlpool antics of famewhores and the siren songs of buying stuff.

So shut up already.

Ah, well, there you go, because, for all the grousing about the blah blah blahs, it does help drown out those gnawing voices in my head. In between the drunken black outs.


spiral scratch
no depression in heaven .. . { the carter family }
hoover dam .. . { sugar, copper blue }
dirty knife .. . { neko case, fox confessor brings the blues }


24 June 2007

{ 13 } .. . big sleep

barbecued sardines make me holler, ya!

None will take us seriously, when all we can say is nonsense into a blustery wind. How great will be our thirst when finally we stop being idiots. But what fun is our idiocy. What catastrophe is our disheveled minds. Thoughts leaching booze, ideas bloated like overtaxed livers. And all we could summon are stuttering gurgles. Huh.

History says. Dont hope/On this side of the grave./But then, once in a lifetime/The longed-for tidal wave/Of justice can rise up./And hope and history rhyme .. . { seamus heaney, the cure at troy }


spiral scratch
born under punches .. . { talking heads, remain in light }
polyester bride .. . { liz phair, whitechocolatespaceegg }
gin and juice .. . { the gourds, shinebox }



03 June 2007

{ 12 } .. . condemned

lists are the bondo of personalities

Deep in the heart of darkest utopia, I heard the alarms clangity-clanging away at the coming doom. Man, they sure don’t make it easy to get some shut eye; they don’t make it easy to ignore their screams. I’m tightrope-dawdling along the broken sidewalk, trying not to draw attention in this tone-deaf neighbourhood. I feel like barking in a foreign tongue, vibrating my dangling uvula like a well-used punching bag. Oh yeah, baby, I’m ready to roundhouse some circus freakshow exhibit now, to show them who’s boss in this sprawling home of the knave.

Big top, screw top, mop top, they’re all the same to me.

But you know, I don’t really begrudge them their lucky privilege, I don’t hold their appalling lack of taste against them. Hell, someone has to keep wearing those goddamned white loafers, since all the salesmen got smart a couple of generations ago and started dressing like golf pros.

And in the end, really, the love they crave, is equal to the love they stave. Hehe, just what the world needs, salesmen making more salesmen – could really drive a houseclown to drink.


spiral scratch
bullshit .. . { the dishrags, vancouver complications }
fuck with dre day .. . { dr dre, the chronic }
na na na na naa .. . { kaiser chiefs, employment }



06 May 2007

{ 11 } .. . vengeance

plenty of blame to go around

There is a high-pitched hissing sound, a wheezing exhalation, like a deflating gasbag, calling attention to its own dissolution. My head is like that right now, ballooned to some crazy circumference, barely able to fit through a door, then leaking ego left, right, centre, stinking up the air with pent up flatulence. Slowly, out of that miasma of bad odour, dancing globes of burning gas appear, like some swampy will-o-wisps, all orange, yellow, and green, before fading into black and white. And I’m listening in to some venal line, taking down names that all seem to be variations of mine.

It’s a lexicon of sloth and envy, a pas de deux between those minor vices. It’s a stolen dance of escaped lunatics, a profane pas de Dieu of reckless profanities.

But when I see you walk in the room, gliding through the blurry air as if you were parting veils, my breath is caught short once again. And I’m humbled once more by something I can’t explain, something I willingly keep as a mystery. And in your wake the air gets cleared, as my restless slumber ends.

Great comedy albums, in no particular order:
Led Zeppelin, Untitled (IV), I never could keep a straight face while listening to ‘Misty Mountain Hop’.
NWA, Straight Outta Compton.
Anything by The Smiths, case in point, ‘Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now’.


spiral scratch
not big .. . { lily allen, alright, still }
an eye for an empty heart .. . { holly golightly, my first holly golightly album }
dear john .. . { the au pairs, equal but different }



06 April 2007

{ 10 } .. . juggernaut

i’m so manically messy, i must be messianic

Moments of truth, a random sampling:
The opening note that Miles Davis blows on the very first track of Porgy and Bess. It is a detonation, a squall from his horn so thunderous that it leaves me excited and scared at the same time. It is like being slapped in the arse to breathe in the world for the first time. It’s what I imagined the Trump of Doom will sound like.

The little guitar riff in the middle of Prince’s Blue Light (from Sex Symbol). Amidst this great little throwaway, anchored by a light touch of reggae soul, a dozen or so notes comes from the lead guitar, all spidery and sparkling with nervous energy, underscoring the sexual tension (well, is there any other kind with Prince?) of the song.

The quality of Gillian Welch’s voice as she sings, ‘went out walking with a girl pure as milk’ on Good Til Now (from Hell Among the Yearlings). It’s a languid performance, twangy and cornpoke, conjuring up hot, windless prairie days in a town with nothing to do. And when Welch gets to the words, ‘sweating through her yellow silk’, the eroticism just melts away the syllables.


spiral scratch
personality crisis .. . { new york dolls }
majorca .. . { rheostatics, the nightline sessions }
the last mile of the way .. . { the soul stirrers, the last mile of the way }



01 April 2007

{ 09 } .. . outcast

resistance is fertile

In my younger days, I would stop at nothing to feed the hunger. I was focused. I was obsessed, And I was always hungry. That desire was my alpha and omega, the totality of my life. It burned with the intensity of acid and the force of bile. Rules were meaningless. People meant even less. My only connection with them was in terms of whether they can help me feed. I was becoming feral. I started talking to myself. Briefly, at first. Short, syncopated, like the words to a magic spell. Eventually, it became more, uh, effusive. It was as if I had tapped into some hidden reservoir, and these dialogues erupted like ulcers onto the lining of my crumbling personality, making me porous, ready for some foreign, diabolical infection.

spiral scratch
crooked down the road .. . { oh susanna }
what do i get .. . { buzzcocks, operator’s manual }
heard’em say .. . { kanye west, late registration }



24 March 2007

{ 08 } .. . force

baby let’s play house!

I wonder why I take such pride in the automatic workings of my body. I mean, is it such an achievement to breathe out after breathing in? to eat when hungry? to shit when I’m full of shit? How much skill do I need to behave like any other person, or for that matter, any animal on this planet? Some people will go all Sartre on me arse right about now, start jabbing me with their existential schticks. And right on cue, we’ll tumble into a meaningless discussion about meaning, and blah blah et ceterblah.

Not that I’m not sympathetic to existentialism. But I’ve been feeling lately that talking about philosophy is like talking about jazz (and who am I quoting here?), no matter what words I use, they wouldn’t capture the essence. There, I just dismissed 2500 years of thinking with one badly constructed sentence.

And if death is the punctuation to a life sentence, it definitely comes after a couple of misplaced colons. There I go, still talking shite.

Plagiarism or homage? Terrorist or freedom fighter? Conspiracy or paranoia?


spiral scratch
lights out .. . { angry samoans, back from samoa }
living proof .. . { cat power, the greatest }
i’m crazy ’bout my baby and my baby’s crazy ’bout me .. . { louis armstrong, satch plays fats }



18 March 2007

{ 07 } .. . carrier

full-frontal good! pre-frontal bad!

You know, I’m not sure why it seems to take so much work to motivate myself. I mean, really, is it so hard to get my arse over to the corner and busk for change? So what if I can’t sing, or play an instrument, or do anything else remotely entertaining. Christ, why does it always have to be a spectacle, just to shake a few coins from your pockets? I guess if it comes down to it, I could mime. Not that I know how. Or really want to.

Or maybe I’m already miming. That would explain the grease paint on my pillow this morning.

I’ve seen better days but I’m putting up with these .. . { richard ‘rabbit’ brown, james alley blues }


spiral scratch
poor boy .. . { elvis presley, for lp fans only }
superstition .. . { stevie wonder, talking book }
wall of death .. . { rem, beat the retreat }



11 March 2007

{ 06 } .. . co-dependents

flatulence is a kind of personal growth, isn’t it?

Some time soon, it’s going to come over me, like an irritant, a compulsive itch, a rash decision. And when I reach for it, when I decide to scratch, it will become a little more deeply entrenched. Not that I want it to ever go away and leave me be. No, where would the fun be then. But I do wonder what plastic inevitable would explode if, you know, things were different. If I stop pretending that I have no choice in the matter, what could be the possibilities. Perhaps it will wind up being a let down. Or a fleeting tick in the slowing hours at the stale end of the night. It seems like a lot of work though.


spiral scratch
easy way out .. . { supercar, futurama }
down like disco .. . { the dandy warhols, odditorium }
gigantic .. . { the pixies, surfer rosa }



03 March 2007

{ 05 } .. . soul pedlar

there’re floaties in my pool of consciousness, eww!

No damn good at all, that’s what she keeps telling me. And I’m just too tired to argue. Or maybe I don’t care enough to even have a decent conversation with her anymore. I find my mind wandering every time she opens her mouth and I see these little goldfishes coming out of it, hovering for a second before drifting skyward, belly up. Man, I gotta take it easy on that little concoction I’ve been calling velvet hammers, bennys washed down with vodka cut with grape jello powder. They’re okay in the morning, but if I have them later in the evening, I’m totally screwed til the next day.

Anyway, I thinks she’s talking again. I’m still not processing what she’s saying, and she’s starting to notice. I can see the little vertical creases forming between her eyebrows. Now, how am I gonna get out of this? I suppose I could just get up and walk out. I think it’s too late to pretend I’m listening. I should have started periodically nodding and grunting before now. I need to be smarter. I need to remember why I’m with her in the first place. I need to stop this bloody shaking.

Concentrate.


spiral scratch
betsy and the blue boys .. . { roy forbes, almost overnight }
testify .. . { parliament, up for the down stroke }
c’mon every beatbox .. . { big audio dynamite, no 10 upping st }


26 February 2007

{ 04 } .. . despot

bella,/no te caben los ojos en la cara,/no te caben los ojos en la tierra

Karaoke night in the lounge at the Comfort Inn, the singer looks more unsteady than the way I feel. She’s been egged on by three other women sitting at a table upfront. They all look to be about the same age, late 30s or so, wearing variations of office casual. Occasionally, I hear a staccato of throaty laughter but otherwise have paid little attention to them. The woman, standing on the tiny, low stage sings with a startling lack of inhibition that transcends the mostly empty room. She is mesmerizing, not because of her voice, which is neither particularly artful nor tuneful, but because the conviction of her singing reaches beyond any practised technique. She isn’t holding back. Each note, each syllable becomes the whole truth, a testimony to the power of such a seemingly trivial song as ‘Don’t Be Cruel’.

I’m swept away by the rhetoric, the history and the poetry of her literal and liberating rendition – boiling the essence of the song down to its naked pleading, its joy of being enslaved by love, the obsessive need for love’s requital. At first, she starts by reading the lyrics off the tv monitor, following the crimson sweep through the bright white letters. But soon her eyes are half-closed as if she’s reading the words from somewhere else. ‘You know I can be found,’ she sounds a little tentative. ‘Sitting home all alone,’ now there’s joy, as if being alone is a sexy anticipation of not being alone. I hear Elvis Presley in her styling, but because the canned music has a slightly faster beat than his version, this woman sings his song with more urgency, even rushing a little ahead of the beat. And I believe utterly that she understands the overwhelming cruelty of misplaced affection, but cannot resist its comforting strictures. ‘Why should we be apart/I really love you, baby, cross my heart,’ I hear the sincerity of the words and something more – she is hinting at a desire behind the pledge, that, sure, she will love him forever for now, because, well, sometimes a girl has needs. ‘Let’s walk to the preacher,’ – I don’t know what kind of preacher would be within walking distance of a motel. ‘You’re the only one I’m thinking of,’ she finishes the song in an almost matter-of-fact way, no theatrical flourish, just stating the obvious. And the whole room, such as it is, detonates into a vigorous applause.

Lovely one,/your eyes are too big for your face,/your eyes are too big for the earth.
.. . { pablo neruda. bella }

spiral scratch
absolutely cuckoo .. . { the magnetic fields, 69 love songs }
no so piĆ¹ cosa son .. . { cecilia bartoli, le nozze di figaro }
someday .. . { bobby ‘blue’ bland, i pity the fool }



25 February 2007

{ 03 } .. . virago

she reads the leaves and she leads the life

Come with me, and be my love,/And we will some new pleasures prove
. .. . { john donne, the bait }

Well, we tread lightly on some phantom shells, waving our arms molasses slow. As if we were swayed by some idle wind, while fishers fish and emperors bow. The flames do not subside at all with ease, fueled by the trash strewn to and fro. And what burns shall burn, as young children learn, with liars’ pants and idiots’ glow.

Now that’s a nice fire to warm an arson’s arse. Let’s throw another martyr on the pyre, another Joan on the throne. And throw more dirt on this shallow grave.


spiral scratch
the sad burlesque .. . { elvis costello and the brodsky quartet, the juliet letters }
hungover again .. . { supersuckers, must’ve been high }
a certain romance .. . { arctic monkeys, whatever people say i am, that’s what i’m not }



21 February 2007

{ 02 } .. . magdalena

jumped my head and served me jasmine tea

Feel the blood stir with the waning moon, let the rising tide wake the dormant mountain. I’m chasing echoes from a stack of songs. And the sand spills from my pocket like so much wasted hours. How come the earth spins steady make me dizzy? How come the stars shine sparkly inside my eyes?

The faded jaded junkie jumps to attention. The country chorus slows the lingering seconds even more. We’re suspended, she and I, insects in some amber liquid, talking nothing, squandering the precious moment. If she walks in beauty, then I in fright, through clouded grime and charry heights, and all that burns with smoke and light, comes to ashes and to shite.

His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.
.. . { james joyce, the dead }

unggai ayhai atfai oichai!


spiral scratch
better git it in your soul .. . { charles mingus, mingus ah um }
bingo .. . { mia, arular }
sensoria .. . { cabaret voltaire, micro-phonies }



14 February 2007

{ 01 } .. . charlatan

all you need is cash, or decent credit

Stringing words together with little rhyme and less reason, just flowing with the slipstream, getting tossed about by the hidden nuggets underneath the swirling currents, now wouldn’t we have a time? In the humble days of February, balanced between start and end, at the heart of the month, all I see is a sea of red, an ocean of calamine lotion, a salve for some amorous itch.

How does that tidal wave grow? Mercy at ruby fingertips, patience with a virtuous twist, a vice on twitchy impulse, the syncopated rhythm driving me steadily onwards, eyes blinded by the rushing liquid, ears blunted with the pressing water. All I can rely on is the probing touch of my splayed out limbs.

I’m starfish somersaulting, a spinning blob of barely held together protein, sailing through this siren studded archipelago, each one trilling their alluring songs, and I can’t help but listen even as I speed towards a hard landing on one of those rocky shores.

And when the sea recedes, when the strong winds dry me leather, this heartland troubadour will lullaby my stagnant thoughts, with words like fortune telling bones tossed carelessly on the sand. Now, how does that feel?



spiral scratch
that’s all it took .. . { gram parsons, gp }
how long has this been going on? .. . { ella fitzgerald, ella sings gershwin }
venus .. . { television, marquee moon }




11 February 2007

{ 00 } .. . simpleton

Oh, what wonders do the world provide for idle hands led by feeble mind.

Beginnings are buggers. So I’m gonna cheat. But before I plunk you into the middle of the raging torrents of my fevered diatribe (well, actually, it’d be more like the slack-jawed droolings of my flaccid gibes), here’s a little illustration of what you are in for.

I was going to call this site, Secretariat, you know, all sleek and powerful, a real thoroughbred of measured thoughts. But then, I would be constantly blogging a dead horse.

Really, there will be nothing of note, no truths unveiled, no secrets revealed, just the mad mutterings of a nutter with too much time and technology at his disposal.

And I promise that will be the last time I refer to myself in the third person.

You have been warned.



spiral scratch
sexy mf .. . { prince, sex symbol }
ape self prevails in me still .. . { quasi, featuring ‘birds’ }
i wanna be sedated .. . { the ramones, road to ruin }